Listening to: “Dream police” by Mk.gee
Reading: The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White
Just Watched: American Nightmare (Netflix)
This week’s Listener’s Digest: a mix of Jenna-core songs, artists, & new releases
Posts from this week:
💸 An essay about whether or not celebrities are human
🎂 An essay about why I cried about my birthday this week
💿 A playlist of tortured poets
Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!! And thank you to those of you that had to handle me in such a delicate state this week. I already wrote way too much about my brain’s issues with my birthday, and if I think too much more about it I think my head will explode, but I appreciated everybody keeping it low-key and respecting that what I really needed this year was for people to not look too closely at me. (She says as she posted a 30m essay…)
This month is the busiest I’ve been in a long time, and I’m both terrified about all the things I need to do and excited about all the fun things on my calendar. I’m going to Yosemite in the middle of the month, but I have to pull some long shifts at work the next two weeks. I’m seeing Holly Humberstone tonight, and then Noah Kahan at the end of the month, and THEN I’m seeing my favorite band at my favorite venue from the second row and I’m going to scream “EVERYBODY LOST SOMEBODY” at the top of my lungs with my best friends and that will fix me.
I started reading The Spirit Bares Its Teeth which is a historical horror book about a trans autistic teen who is terrified of being forced into marriage, and I’m optimistic that it will be a new favorite. I needed something to get me out of my AFTG mourning period. It’s definitely creepy and gory but I haven’t read a horror book in ages so I’m excited!!
Last night I accidentally spent two hours watching Glee video compilations on YouTube. How did such an unhinged show make it on air
As a gift to myself, I got a ticket to see Ruston Kelly perform an acoustic set at the Ryman on my birthday (dream show) and it was just as life-changing as you’d expect. It was just him and his dad and he’s the kind of artist that is made for live performances. His voice is fantastic and his acoustic guitar work is just heavenly. In a fit of spontaneity I logged onto my Instagram to DM him to ask if he’d play a song for my bday fully not expecting much, and to be fair, I’m not sure if he even saw the message at all…but he did play the song I requested second in the set, so it felt like a sign. He also did a mini-cover of one of my all-time favorite songs, “Somebody Else” by The 1975. I went to the show by myself, and otherwise didn’t really do anything major for my 29th, but it was exactly where I was supposed to be, and I felt really grateful to be alive for such a special night.
The new Gracie Abrams single is kind of life-changing.
I waffled back and forth trying to decide if I really needed to see Alien in theaters since they brought it back for the anniversary and in honor of the upcoming Alien: Romulus, but in a spur of the moment decision I went to the theater with one of my friends. I am an Alien baby whether I like it or not — my dad is obsessed with it, and my parents had their first date at Aliens (unclear why because my mom hates horror movies) — but admittedly, the one and only time previously I had watched this movie was in 2016 or 2017. I watched it across my room on my old iMac, and I definitely was only half paying attention to it. I’m not one for older movies because sometimes the bad effects take me out of the story (sorry), but I have to say I am so glad I saw this on the big screen. It looked fantastic, and it really made me appreciate the franchise in a new way. They’re not my favorite movies by any means, but I have to admit…I really do love that xenomorph. Fantastic character design, perfect for a horror movie. But I really do hate horror movies because all of this could have been prevented if these men listened to Ripley.
We’re officially five months into 2024 (I’m gonna throw up) which means I am starting to have some top plays of the year (barely) on my last.fm and it’s exactly what I expected it to be, actually. I’m still waiting on the new Pilots album (it got pushed back a week boo) and Shaboozey’s new record to shake things up, but TTPD is doing her thing. I put “Backslide” on repeat for like three days straight this week because it was the only thing that kept me sane when I was crying about birthday things.
Me and the bestie watched the docuseries (American Nightmare) about Denise Huskins and it is not only heart-breaking and horrific, but also it felt so poignant especially with all the protests and police force out in full. Me and Jules spent the whole time yelling ACAB at the TV because it’s just horrible the shit that Denise and Aaron went through when they were so traumatized already. You really cannot count on the police or men in general to do their jobs, and the older I get the more I support abolition of police forces in general. They aren’t as helpful as they think they are, and they frequently cause harm where they shouldn’t. If you don’t believe that, maybe check out the Police Violence Report for 2023. 1,247 people were killed by police in 2023, more than any year in the last decade including 2020. 96% of these deaths were caused by police shootings.
Case and point: an NYPD officer accidentally fired at shot at the Columbia raid. They reported saying they average 8 accidental shots per year, but does anybody else think maybe we should be having 0 accidental shots fired per year? This shot went off because the officer switched the gun to his non-dominant hand…insane.
Plenty of people have better things to say about the campus protests that have been happening for the last few weeks, but it was heavy on my mind during this past week because I have friends at USC and UCLA. I’ve been out of school for seven years now, but I still have so many connections to people in academia, and I live in a big city with some pretty important colleges. (Nothing has been happening here, alas.) It’s amazing to me how frequently history repeats itself, that Columbia University was raided by police on April 30, 1968 and April 30, 2024 for similar reasons, and yet the university didn’t seem to recognize the significance of that. The fact that this genocide is starting to feel like our generation’s Vietnam War is…insane, especially because it would be very easy for our government to make real change to end it. (Is that how it was for the Vietnam war? Is the American government a perpetuator of needless violence and unnecessary wars? The answer is almost always yes.) And yes, it might be a complex issue in some ways, nothing is ever black and white, but we passed complicated a long fucking time ago. We’ve moved into cruel and wicked and vile and brutal and grotesque, and someday the world will look on this time period and judge it for its horrors. It may take a long time for justice to be served, but none of us will forget this. The students taking a stand are proof that once again, the future lies in our youth. If it makes you uncomfortable to see kids camping out on their own campuses to stop a LITERAL GENOCIDE in any way they can, I hate to break it to you…but you’re the problem. And no, a majority of them are not anti-semitic. Do your research. We will see a free Palestine in our lifetime, and we have to keep believing that with all our might.
- wrote a great article on the protests here - he’s always on top of current events and he has such great insight into things I barely understand, so if you aren’t subscribed to him definitely check him out!!
- also has a great piece on this. He pointed out that USC has a Resistance to Genocide minor (this blew my mind, I had to sit with it for a minute because what the actual fuck), and it just goes to show that a lot of people talk big, but their actions speak louder than their words ever will.