2025 reading debrief

highlights from a chaotic reading year

Dec 20, 2025

This is a very long post that is best read on desktop!

intro

Two years ago I decided I wanted to recommit to reading after quitting it cold turkey during the early days of the pandemic, and since January of 2024, I’ve read over 250 books and nearly 90,000 pages. (#humblebrag)

This year, I unintentionally started a page-a-day streak on Storygraph that I’ve kept up for almost (on Jan 6) 365 days. I may have finished fewer books this year, but I read more pages which leads me to believe I read more overall, and that’s not something I expected since I had my biggest reading year EVER in 20241.

In truth, I’ve worked hard at cultivating my reading habits into a nice little ecosystem as I navigate life after Instagram and Twitter. I’ve been so upset over AI and short-form video content that the only way I’m able to combat my bad feelings is by reading.

I’m often reading 3 or 4 books at a time, switching constantly between mediums and rereading old favorites. I scribble in my physical books and copy&paste eBook quotes and log my progress so I can look back and remember just what I was thinking when I first read my favorite stories. To some people, the work I put into reading is A Lot, but this is the one hobby I have that I don’t monetize, and it really is one of my biggest sources of joy these days, so of course I put a lot of work into it.

One of the best things I did for myself this year was creating a reading database2 with my GR data in Notion, and now I have a place where I can track what I read with ease and I can easily export and save it offline when necessary. It brings me IMMENSE joy, and ever since I created it in September, I consider it my most prized digital possession. I just love data!!

Since I read so much this year, I didn’t want to just drop my top reads and bounce. While I will be filming a (very long) favorite books of the year video for YouTube with my top 40 (oops), I wanted to use this space to explore the ups and downs and sideways that I ended up on this year. Most of these are highlights that I highly recommend, but I’m a very chaotic reader so tread lightly. I know a lot of these books aren’t to everyone’s tastes. (And there are some duds if you want to see me rant.)

I also included a curated list of some of my favorite quotes from the books I’ve read this year (some bangers in here btw) and a collection of the bookish playlists I made on Spotify. There’s also a list of my most anticipated 2026 releases at the veryyyy bottom!

goals for 2025

READ 12 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES (TRANSLATED)

Thanks to the influence of the lovely people on Substack (especially Martha of Martha’s Monthly), I wanted to primarily focus on translated works this year, so I set a goal of reading 12 unique languages translated into English. In the end, I read almost 50 books that were translated, although a majority of that (30 books) was Chinese Danmei…so. The twelve I counted towards my challenge are listed below! It was such a wonderful endeavor, and I feel so changed as a reader and a person. I will be implementing translation into my reading from now on.

READ WAR AND PEACE

This has been a goal of mine since I was 22. I wanted to finish it before I turned thirty this spring, but did not read the last page until the end of November. Even so, I’m so proud of myself for sticking with it, especially because of how much I enjoyed it. Simon Haisell is my go-to for W&P content (he does an annual slow read), and finding his Substack a few years ago really encouraged me that I could do this. It’s more accessible than you think!! I’m so excited to read more classic Russian literature - next I want to tackle The Brothers Karamazov.

READ MORE FANTASY

Last year I read a lotttt of contemporary romance, and while that is fine and good, I realized I wasn’t reading as much fantasy as I wanted to. So this year, I aimed to pick up more fantasy (standalones and series both). It was a huge success!! I read a lot of great standouts (listed below), and I finally feel like I’m back in my fantasy groove.

READ ROBIN HOBB

My main goal in fantasy was to pick up the Realm of the Elderlings. I did not manage to read the whole sixteen book saga, but I read the first trilogy and I am forever changed. I swear I am going to continue with this soon, but until then, just know that Robin Hobb is a god. And I need her to accept that she wrote Fitzloved as a romantic pairing because SHE LITERALLY DID.

UP MY AVERAGE PAGE COUNT PER BOOK

I know stats aren’t everything, but I felt like last year I read a lot more short books and I wanted to lean into longer texts this year. Upping my page count average felt like a good way to measure that. I went from an average book length of 315 pages in 2024 to 383 pages in 2025. That doesn’t feel like a lot, but in context, I read about fifteen fewer books this year than I did last year, and yet, I read a few thousand pages more.

stats

I know people bemoan tracking data in regards to reading but I don’t care because it makes me more excited about reading and I love seeing the data change as the years go on. Sue me.

Total Books: 127 (↓ from last year’s 133)
New to me: 100 (↑ from last year’s 95)
Rereads: 27 (↓ from last year’s 37)
Total Series: 13 (↑ from last year’s 12)
Total Pages: 48,571 (↑ from last year’s 42,297)
15% Non-Fiction (19 books) vs 85% Fiction (108 books)
Biggest Month: July (13 books) or March (4,972 pages)
Smallest Month: May (7 Books)
Five-Star Ratings (not including rereads): 51
Most-read author: Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou (Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat), 22 books
Books I read the most: The Golden Raven by Nora Sakavic, Heated Rivalry & The Long Game by Rachel Reid, Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke (each 2x)
Longest book I read: War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (1,358 pages)
Shortest book I read: Minor Detail by Adania Shibli (112 pages)
Longest series I read: The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (Erha) by Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat (9 Volumes)

most surprising

Tian Guan Ci Fu by Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù
Translated from Chinese
Read in January

So. A few days into the new year, I was telling my therapist about my translation challenge and they immediately told me to read this series. And when I picked up volume one, I had to laugh. The writing is absolutely ridiculous. Objectively quite bad. And yet. I committed to the bit a little too hard, the spark caught, and now I am deeply obsessed with danmei. Even though I’ve read a lot more Meatbun this year than MXTX, Hualian will always be my first and they will always hold a special place in my heart. This was also my first ever donghua!! And I LOVED IT!!!!

In the Absence of Men by Philippe Besson
Translated from French by Frank Wynne
Read in November

I picked this up because I loved his other book Lie With Me, but I really didn’t expect much from this short novel. That said, after a few chapters, I was bursting with feelings. It’s historical fiction set during the early 1900s, all about war and queerness and friendship and grief, and it took my breath away. I read it in November, and it somehow managed to jump into my top 10 for the year. Insane language in here.

Lonely Castle in the Mirror by Mizuki Tsujimura
Translated from Japanese by Philip Gabriel
Read in May

Someone from my GR feed read this, and I was so intrigued by the Studio Ghibli comp, that I had to try it out. That said, I was incredibly skeptical of the SG comp. Nobody ever actually writes books that feel authentically Ghibli, but this one is just that. It is cozy and convicting and a little horrific. It’s about friendship and grief, two things that instantly hooked me, and I was so obsessed with the voice of this story. Beautiful fabulism, beautiful themes, beautiful characters. Could not have predicted it.

Translating Myself and Others by Jhumpa Lahiri
Translated from Italian by Jhumpa Lahiri
Read in March

I tried this audio because Lahiri is a huge name in the Italian translation sphere and when I saw the book during a B&N browsing session, I figured it might be interesting to read some essays about translation, since that was a main theme for my 2025. Lahiri spontaneously learned Italian in her 40s, and she’s done a lot of translations for other Italian writers as well as herself. I did not expect this book to get me to fall so deeply in love with the concept of translation, of language. So many of these essays spoke to me, and I’m desperate to get my hands on a copy so I can really scribble all over it.

biggest disappointments

Bing an Ben by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
Translated from Chinese
Read in August

I don’t even know if I can call this a disappointment. Because truly it’s more devastating than that. It’s my most loathed book (series) of the year. Of all time, possibly. Which is crazy because the two other Meatbuns I read this year are in my top 10 reads of the year. (Her duality!!) I have two rant reviews of this. It’s not only lazy writing, but more importantly, it’s disturbing content. I can play with the big dogs, Erha is proof of that, but good lord some of the shit in here is just…awful. I was promised an OTP for the ages, but this is obscene. And bad!!!! Save yourself!!!!

Deep End by Ali Hazelwood
Read in February

I think this is my biggest disappointment because the premise was so promising. For better or worse, I do love Ali Hazelwood books! But Ali wrote a disclaimer in the front saying she was writing about kink in this book, and then she proceeded to write the most vanilla pairing of all time. Not kinky enough Ali!!!! I just could not bring myself to care for these characters who had almost no chemistry, sorry not sorry.

The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
Translated from Spanish by Lucia Graves
Read in October

So this is still an excellent read and I did really enjoy it, but it’s on here because I wanted something different than what I got. I was under the impression this was some kind of magical realism, meta story like The Starless Sea, but instead it is straight up historical mystery, something more kin to S. by Doug Dorst (also a great book). Very well written, super compelling characters, but I feel like whoever has been talking about it or marketing it did a bad job explaining what it’s actually about. I feel cheated. (But like also, when it’s all explained at the end…jaw on the floor.)

best series

Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
Translated from Chinese
Read in April

This is the longest series I read this year, and you’d think I would have grown sick of it after awhile, but I think I’d read about these characters forever. Meatbun is at her very best here with mature themes, sick and twisted plot twists, and an incredible, complex romance that will make you want to throw up. It’s not for everybody and it is somewhat disturbing at times, but I felt so connected to Chu Wanning and I NEED TO SEE A HAPPY ENDING!!!! THE AGONIES!!!!

Yuwu by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou
Translated from Chinese
Read in September

Yeah, I had to put another Meatbun series on here. For all the times Meatbun has made it clear that she resents this series and wishes she had written it differently, I strongly believe this is some of her best work. It’s soft, it’s agonizing, it’s heart-felt. This series is a wild emotional ride, and it almost had me crying at the gym.

The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb
Read in January

I did not achieve my goal of reading all of the Realm of the Elderlings, but I had a passionate love affair with the first trilogy at the very beginning of 2025, and I am planning on diving back into this world in 2026. This is one of the most innovative, jaw-dropping, suffering-filled, unsubtly-queer fantasy series I’ve ever read. The characters are phenomenal, the plot will have you screaming, and the questionable maybe-queer-baiting will leave you wanting more. Fitz and the Fool FOR LIFE.

The Tarot Sequence by K.D. Edwards
Read in October

This series is a work in progress (3 books + a novella are out, the 4th drops next summer, and it’s supposed to have 9 or 10 in total) but it is one of the greatest queer urban fantasy series I’ve ever read. I love the characters and the humor and the magic system, but more than anything, I love that this series revolves around a queerplatonic relationship. Totally bingeable, and I’m DYING to get the next book in my hands immediately.

best romance

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid
Read in June (and October)

Yeah yeah, you’re sick of hearing about the gay hockey players, I get it. And objectively, as far as romance goes, I don’t even think this is that well-written. It’s got weird pacing and filthy sex and some cringey moments. But! It’s such a special pairing, and now we have that incredible show, and I just cannot stop thinking about Rachel Reid’s world. Shane and Ilya have my heart forever. (And Troy and Harris from Role Model are also beloved!!!)

One Day by David Nicholls
Read in November

My friend Seed wanted me to read this because it’s one of her favorite books, and her other recommendation A Place For Us blew me away. But I was skeptical of this because I had seen the Anne Hathaway movie like ten years ago and was relatively unfazed. However. The book? Breath-taking. It’s quaint and sad and full of British humor, and as far as premise and craft go, it’s a home-run. Very excited to watch the Netflix series at some point!!

SCU Hockey Series by J.J. Mulder
Read in December

Let’s get this out of the way: this is a solid 4 star series. But I think it will hold a special place in my heart since I binged five books in five days, and that almost gives it the power of a 5 star series. I’m not sure this is ground-breaking in terms of m/m romance, but it is ground-breaking in terms of aspec and touch-aversion romance. I’ve never read a series of romance books that spends so much time doing a nuanced, in-depth look at the struggles of aspec romance, specifically things like ace virgins and demi dating and being touch-averse but still feeling attraction in other ways. It’s completely unexpected and I felt so deeply seen by many of these characters - and these guys are all just so SWEET!! I am enamored with these athletes and I wish more people were talking about them.

best sci-fi/fantasy

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez
Read in July

This is a backlist title I’ve had on my TBR for a very long time, and I finally read it over the summer in a fever dream. I have a long review of this on GR because it blew my mind, but I think it’s just one of the most unique and inventive fantasy books I’ve ever read. And it’s a STANDALONE! The storytelling is out of this world and the two main characters are absolutely wonderful. This is what queer fantasy should be.

Local Heavens by K.M. Fajardo
Read in October

This has been on my radar ever since it was announced (cyberpunk BI4BI Gatsby) and when I got the ARC, I absolutely devoured it. The first half starts slow, but the way the author explores her futuristic world-building absolutely sold me, especially because I don’t usually gravitate towards sci-fi. Not to mention the ROMANCE. The characters. The retelling. It’s a perfect Gatsby, zero notes. I will read anything Kris writes. And it’s a DEBUT!

The Dark Mirror by Samantha Shannon
Read in March

I waited four years (!!!) for this fifth book in The Bone Season series, and even though it didn’t quite live up to the hype, there were some absolutely show-stopping moments in here that took my breath away. The reading experience was unmatched, and I swear to god Samantha, you better get book six out in 2027 or I will hunt you down. Maybe someday soon I’ll finally edit the vlog footage I captured in March… READ THE BONE SEASON!!!!

Katabasis by R.F. Kuang
Read in September

This is my favorite Kuang book. I got to hear Rebecca speak about it on tour, and her commentary added so much beautiful context to a book that is already brilliant on its own. I love how academic this is, how philosophical it is, how emotional it is. And I love Alice and Peter. I’m just a sucker for a “we have to go to hell, literally” story.

best lit-fic

A Language of Limbs by Dylin Hardcastle
Read in November

This is technically a 2025 release in the US as it was published in June, but originally it came out in 2024 in Australia. I’ve had it on my list since the beginning of the year, and picked it up spontaneously after reading Philippe Besson. This book pairs perfectly with his work, and I instantly fell in love with the poetic writing style. A stunning piece on parallelism, fate, and lesbians. And technically it’s historical fiction as most of it takes place in 1970-1990.

Minor Black Figures by Brandon Taylor
Read in July

When I picked up the ARC of this, I instantly knew it would change my life. Brandon has become one of my all-time favorites, and this is by far his best work. It’s thoughtful and deep and convicting, and it has challenged my artistic life from the moment I finished it. The prose is fantastic, the characters are deranged and endearing at the same time, and the themes continue to be poignant and relevant and relatable. Brilliant book about Blackness, queerness, America, art and God. My favorite book of the year.

Lie With Me by Philippe Besson
Translated from French by Molly Ringwald
Read in November

I’ve had this on my TBR basically since I read A Little Life in 2021, and yet I didn’t expect much from it when I picked it up. But it was life changing. It’s a wonderful translation, but the content and prose are just breath-taking, heart-clenching, sob-inducing. Besson has instantly become one of my most loved authors, and I cannot wait to reread this book forever. Filed under: queer auto-fiction that will break your heart.

A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza
Read in May

Seed begged me to read this as it’s her favorite book, and even though the beginning was a slow start, I found myself openly weeping on an airplane reading the final section. This is such a beautiful book about Muslim-Americans and family and religion, and not only does it have beautiful characters but it also has some insane prose. I think everyone should read this book and I cannot wait to revisit it in the future. Sarah Jessica Parker, I was not aware of your publishing game.

best non-fiction

How to Survive a Plague by David France
Read in June

I’m so interested in reading about the history of AIDS, and this was a classic that I spontaneously picked up during Pride Month. And my god. What an incredible work of non-fiction. It’s informative, emotional, expansive. David France is a master of his craft, and this book changed me as a queer person and an able-bodied person. (And the documentary film is amazing!!!)

On Photography by Susan Sontag
Read in July

Believe it or not, this was my first Sontag, and WOW. I felt like I saw god when I was scribbling through these essays. So much goodness in here to think about it, and it profoundly impacted my PNW trip in July. Still impacting my photo work right now, honestly. I can’t wait to dive back into her work in the future.

They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Abdurraqib
Read in February

So glad I finally read Hanif’s work this year because he is a powerhouse. This book is devastating and yet so full of joy and hope, and it felt like a gift to read it. For as much as I love music, I never read music essays or music non-fiction, and this was fantastic. In part because Hanif explored some of my favorite artists, but also because he introduced me to so many artists I never considered listening to before.

Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H
Read in March

I’ve had this on my list for years now, and I’m so glad I finally read it. This is a memoir all about queerness and religion and race, and I felt so profoundly convicted by it. Lamya has such a strong voice, and I loved getting to see how she views the world. It’s one of the most unique explorations of Islam and queerness I’ve ever read.

One Day, Everyone Will Have Been Against This by Omar El Akkad
Read in April

I mean, obviously this has to be on here. Nothing much to say about it other than it’s an important part of the Palestine discussion. Akkad doesn’t mince words, and he really calls this genocide like it is. A must read.

Care Work by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
Read in April

I’ll be honest, I did not know a lot about disability or disability justice before this book, and reading about Leah’s experiences really forced me to come to terms with a lot of my privilege. For a book so full of the heartaches of disability, I found so much hope in this book. Another must read!!

Year of the Tiger by Alice Wong
Read in June

We lost the beloved Alice recently, and I’m so glad I picked up her memoir earlier this year. This is a beacon of light just like Alice herself, and I was profoundly impacted by her joy, her passion, and her fight for justice. Should be required reading. (Maybe all of these non-fic books are must reads?)

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin
Read in December

I finally picked up a James Baldwin book, and I settled for this one as a short introduction. It packs a HUGE punch. While most of this is about race in America (in the 1960s, but it’s still painfully relevant now), it also revolves around religion. I was instantly hooked by Baldwin’s voice and his ideas, and I’m so excited to read more of his books in the future.

best craft

Gifted & Talented by Olivie Blake
Read in April

Say what you will, but I think this is Olivie’s magnum opus. She is known for writing meta works, and this one doesn’t feel as meta as most of her other ones, but there comes a point where everything comes together and the fourth-wall breaks open and all the while, you’re witnessing the most deranged family experience grief in such heart-wrenching ways. Structure, plot, and voice really shine here.

A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza
Read in May

While this book mostly plays around with structure and chronology, it’s written in a way that absolutely breaks your heart. The prose is elegant, the content is emotional and devastating, and by the time you hit that part, you will burst into tears if you haven’t already. So much to learn from this book about plot and timing, and I still have no idea how the hell Mirza did this so effortlessly.

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez
Read in July

Objectively I do think this is the most masterful craft book I’ve read this year and possibly ever in my life. It’s standalone fantasy, but it plays with language and prose and plot in such a unique, beautiful way. It’s written in SECOND PERSON!!! It uses italics as a literary device! It plays with time!! And all the while, the sentence structure and word choice and imagery is just stunning. Not to mention it’s queer as hell.

A Language of Limbs by Dylin Hardcastle
Read in November

Reading this book took my breath away. It’s deeply poetic, written in a vignette-y style, and most importantly, is a masterclass on parallelism. I found myself gasping, like truly audibly gasping, to the point that I worried people at the airport would think I was insane. The plot comes together beautiful, but it’s the language (ha) that really ties this piece together.

Minor Black Figures by Brandon Taylor
Read in July

I think I read somewhere that BT wants to bring back the “great American novel” or maybe it’s just that someone commented saying he IS writing the great American novel…either way, this is that novel. On a sentence level, this is an exquisite use of the English language. It gets caught up in itself at times, running down philosophical or theological or ethical rabbit holes, but it feels like so many classics do. It’s less about a plot and more about sitting with characters, sitting with ideas, just sitting. The prose is just gorgeous.

best audiobooks

War and Peace, narrated by Thandiwe Newton
Translated from Russian by Louise Maude & Aylmer Maude
Read in November

** I read this in conjunction with the Penguin paperback edition translated by Anthony Briggs **

See my full post about W&P here!

While I don’t think this is my favorite audiobook of the year, I am so deeply impressed by Thandiwe’s sixty hours of narration that I have to put this on here. Somehow she managed to not only bring 1400 pages to life, but she did so with accents and French phrases and Russian geography. And she made it not only engaging but fun. Bravo!

The Tarot Sequence, narrated by Josh Hurley
Read in October

Josh Hurley is PERFECT in this series. He is the voice of Rune and Brand and their family, and I can already tell this is going to be a series I return to over and over again, if only for his brilliant narration.

Gifted & Talented, narrated by Eunice Wong
Read in April

Contrary to the general public, I love listening to Olivie Blake books on audio. She’s a cerebral writer, so it’s sometimes a challenge to keep up, but Eunice did a fantastic job on this work. Listening to it this first time was definitely the way to go. I was gasping and yelling at work.

Beartown, narrated by Marin Ireland
Translated by Neil Smith
Read in April

Backman books are great on audio, and that’s mostly due to Marin Ireland. I will listen to almost anything she narrates, she’s just so lovely to listen to. And Beartown in general is just heart-wrenching and magnificent. (And the audio for My Friends is also FANTASTIC.)

Never Silent: ACT UP and My Life in Activism, narrated by the author Peter Staley
Read in July

I love this book and this audiobook. Peter is such a wonderful person, and getting to hear him talk about his own life was so perfect. He’s such a huge part of both ACT UP NY and America’s part in the AIDS crisis, but I loved that this book also touched on his own story, his own queerness, his own journey with activism. He’s my best friend!!!!

Minor Detail, narrated by Siiri Scott
Translated from Arabic by Elisabeth Jaquette
Read in July

I probably should reread this in a physical form to really sit with the story, but for such a short audiobook, this left me feeling raw by the end. Like, stare at the wall, what the actual fuck, I can’t be surprised and yet— Brilliant work by Siiri. A must read in regards to Palestine.

How to Survive a Plague, narrated by Rory O’Malley
Read in June

Rory did a great job with this because this book is like 600 pages and a non-zero chunk of that is talking about the science behind AIDS and pharmaceuticals and vaccines. And yet, it’s such an engaging audiobook that I kept finding myself crying while I was listening to it.

best 2025 releases

Minor Black Figures by Brandon Taylor
Read in July

Have I mentioned how much I adore this book? It’s so unlike most of the books that are coming out now - it’s real and philosophical and theological and queer and Black, and I don’t think people are giving it the dues it deserves. Incredible work of fiction.

My Friends by Fredrik Backman
Translated from Swedish by Neil Smith
Read in May

This one won the GR choice award, and I’m ecstatic. Some days this is my favorite book of the year. I sobbed to the last thirty minutes of the audiobook. It changed me as a person, and I cannot wait to revisit it throughout my lifetime. Backman does it again!!!!

The Golden Raven by Nora Sakavic
Read in February (and September)

We all knew this was coming. I read it twice this year. It broke me. It’s the funniest book ever. It will make you scream. I am so glad Nora decided she had to write JereJean’s story. AND SOON, KEVIN’S TOO.

Hot Wax by M.L. Rio
Read in July

It’s so hard when you read so many books (and so many GOOD books) in a year because Hot Wax is in my top 10 reads of the year and yet somehow it’s all the way down here in 2025 releases. I wrote a whole essay about this after I read the ARC over the summer, and even now I am utterly obsessed with this story. It’s the music book I always wanted, and it goes hard.

Local Heavens by K.M. Fajardo
Read in October

I have to mention this yet again because it’s a DEBUT!!!! Kris has such a bright future ahead of her, and I for one cannot wait to see what she does next.

Art Work by Sally Mann
Read in October

This is just a breath of fresh air. It’s Sally’s second release, after Hold Still, and I felt so held by this book. It’s comforting and generous and creative, and I think it’s something that will completely shape my thirties. Perfect for any creative or anybody who wants to live a more enriched, analogue life.

You Weren’t Meant to be Human by Andrew Joseph White
Read in July

What can I say, this is AJW’s best work so far. It’s his first adult horror, and it packs a BIG punch. I read the ARC of this over the summer and it rocked me to my core. Nobody is doing horror like AJW, and this one cuts to the bone because it touches on abortion, pregnancy, transness, and autism. And also there’s evil sentient worms. Lots of mature content in here, and people who are afraid of pregnancy be warned, but damn if it isn’t one of the best horror books I’ve ever read.

Hazelthorn by C.G. Drews
Read in October

I devoured this in one day, frantically flipping pages, waiting to see where the story went. It’s a fantastic exploration of queerness and autism, and as usual, Drews writes some of the most endearing characters and the most insane plot twists. YA botanical horror at its best.

Girl Dinner by Olivie Blake
Read in October

Since I already talked about G&T, let’s talk about the other Olivie release from this year. Now is Girl Dinner my favorite read? No. It’s like #40 or something. But! This book does a masterful job of starting a conversation and giving the reader space to reflect on the horrors of modern womanhood. It deserves to be celebrated, if only because it’s satire done really really well. And yeah!!! Cannibalistic sorority!!!! Insane!!!!

twelve language translations

I counted the first book I read from any given language towards my twelve. In the end, I read 46 total books translated to English from another language.

Chinese (30) - Heaven Official’s Blessing by MXTX, translated by Suika
Korean (1) - Under the Oak Tree by Suji Kim, adapted by namu
Yoruba (1) - Forest of a Thousand Daemons by D.O. Fagunwa, translated by Wole Soyinka
Italian (1) - Translating Myself and Others by Jhumpa Lahiri, translated by Jhumpa Lahiri
Russian (2) - Voices from Chernobyl by Svetlana Alexiévich, translated by Keith Gessen
Swedish (3) - Beartown by Fredrik Backman, translated by Neil Smith
Japanese (3) - Black Box by Shiori Ito, translated by Allison Markin Powell
Arabic (1) - Minor Detail by Adania Shibli, translated by Elisabeth Jaquette
Danish (1) - What Kingdom by Fine Gråbøl, translated by Martin Aitken
Spanish (1) - The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón, translated by Lucia Graves
German (1) - Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke + Franz Kappus, translated by Charlie Louth + translated by Damion Searls
French (2) - Lie With Me by Philippe Besson, translated by Molly Ringwald

While all of these languages taught me a lot, I think it’s obvious that the one I engaged with the most and the one that I learned the most about is Chinese. Diving into danmei (and one donghua!) was such an unexpected and strange endeavor at first, but the more I learned about Chinese characters and pronunciation, the more fun I had! I practice saying Xis and Qis under my breath even now because I find it so neat.

Yoruba is a close second though. I worked really hard to find an African language to learn about, and Fagunwa’s novel was one of (the very one?) the first Yoruba fantasy novels ever written. It’s from the 1930s, very obscure, steeped in religion, and it taught me so much about Yoruba culture. I had to special order the paperback because it’s not widely available. Maybe not my favorite read of the year, but very influential.

new favorite authors

Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat (Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou)

What can I say, I fell into the Meatbun rabbit hole in April and I have been stuck there ever since. Even though she is absolutely deranged, fucked up, batshit crazy, she also writes some of the most compelling characters and romances and plot twists, and I cannot stop devouring her works.

Dylin Hardcastle

Dylin is a transmasc writer, and even though I’ve only read one of his books, I felt so connected with them and their voice. They have such a brilliant writing style, poetic and liquid and intense, and I think he’s going to do great things in his career. Cannot wait to see what they do next.

Susan Sontag

I picked up On Photography on my PNW trip, a fresh new paperback that I scribbled in relentlessly, and it changed my life. I should’ve read her works sooner, and I still have to read more of her, but she gets it. She’s so smart and insightful, and I can already tell her writing is going to deeply impact my thirties and the rest of my life.

Philippe Besson

It’s so rare that you pick up a book and instantly know you found one of your favorite writers, but that’s what happened when I read Lie With Me. Something about Besson’s style and voice is just so lovely, and paired with his vignettes and unique, often autobiographic storytelling just takes my breath away. I cannot wait to read his new book next summer.

K.D. Edwards

Every time I post a review of one of K.D.’s books, he manages to find it on Goodreads and give it a like. It’s always a bit unsettling to remember that authors are people too, but it’s so endearing to know that he’s watching me screaming crying throwing up over his absolutely life-changing queer fantasy series. I love his characters and the world he’s building, and I cannot wait to be a fan of his for life.

Hanif Abdurraqib

I’ve had him on my list for a long time, and I finally read some of his essays this year. Absolutely life-changing. Somehow he manages to make me feel more connected to myself while also writing about experiences that are nothing like my own. His voice is so powerful, probably because he writes about real shit, but then he uses that voice to write about Carly Rae Jepsen and Fall Out Boy. One of the greatest music writers of our time.

favorite quotes

A collection of quotes that moved me and influenced my year, organized in order of connection with each other, similar to my parallels post from earlier this year.

“And all you can do is just read,” she said. She raised her voice and screamed, “You just read and read and read!” Then she threw herself down on the table and wept.”
— The Summer Book, Tove Jansson

“Only when things are reread, reexamined, revisited, are they understood: letters, photos, words in dictionaries.”
— Translating Myself and Others, Jhumpa Lahiri

“Bea says that the art of reading is slowly dying, that it’s an intimate ritual, that a book is a mirror that offers us only what we already carry inside us, that when we read, we do it with all our heart and mind, and great readers are becoming more scarce by the day.”
— The Shadow of the Wind, Carlos Ruiz Zafón

“You are losing your past every time you do it the easy way.”
— Art Work, Sally Mann

“I want to make human marks.”
— Minor Black Figures, Brandon Taylor

“She stares into the camera, damaged eye to eye. Not so much letting herself be seen, as willing herself to look. Conducting her own act of remembrance, adding herself to the archive of what goes on between human bodies.”
— The Lonely City, Olivia Laing

“I don’t want to make photographs...I want to make windows.”
— Feast Your Eyes, Myla Goldberg

“To collect photographs is to collect the world.”
— On Photography, Susan Sontag

“She made a life making other people’s memories and smothering her own. No time left to be herself. No room.
‘All I’ve ever been good at is telling somebody else’s story.’
‘You think that’s nothing?’ Gracie asked. She smiled wide enough to show her laugh lines, deepen the wrinkles around her eyes. ‘There is no “somebody” until somebody tells their story. The world needs witnesses.’”
— Hot Wax, M.L. Rio

“The stories are everywhere, you cannot avoid them. Every day you tell a story to yourself; the details of your day become a part of your myth. It is reordered. It is made sense of.”
— The Spear Cuts Through Water, Simon Jimenez

“Because to remember is to fill the present with the past, which meant that the cost of remembering anything, anything at all is life itself. We murder ourselves, he thought, by remembering.”
— The Emperor of Gladness, Ocean Vuong

“The purpose of story, Kai will say as he pours another glass of wine, is to remember. And when Giulia asks what he means by this, he will tell the story of an ancient god who was dismembered, his body thrown all around the world. To remember is to re-member the dis-membered body, some truth you forgot when you were blown apart. Storytelling is the act of piecing you back together.”
— A Language of Limbs, Dylin Hardcastle

“Decidedly, meeting you was a significant event. How many times in the course of one’s existence does one have the certainty that one has met someone who truly matters?”
— In the Absence of Men, Philippe Besson

“Everything changed in an instant, like a dark stage suddenly bathed in warm hues. I entered a surreal protective bubble that became my entire life for the next few crucial years. That bubble was a wildly empowered and loving community. All of our emotions were heightened and intense, frustrating and beautiful at the same time. It was a bubble filled with demonstrations, endless meetings, nights of ecstasy and dancing, nights of wheat-pasting, hospitals and memorials, boyfriends, new friends, breakups, phone zaps, phone trees, shame-free sex, sex between proud sluts, sex that was political, that said fuck-you to the haters, more endless meetings, kiss-ins, kissing hello on the lips, kissing lesbians, selling T-shirts and buttons, covering an entire city in SILENCE = DEATH stickers, heckling presidents, getting arrested with your best friends, chanting, laughing, crying, hugging, lots of hugs to fight off fear and tears, and a beautiful surge of creativity, artistry, and genius that synergized among us.”
— Never Silent, Peter Staley

“God was stronger than me when he made Adam and didn’t fall in love with him.”
— Hazelthorn, C.G. Drews

“What do you like? …What I liked, maybe, was even being asked the question.”
— Local Heavens, K.M. Fajardo

“So it’s your home,” Xie Lian commented.
“Residence,” Hua Cheng corrected. “Not a home.”
“Is there a difference?” Xie Lian asked.
“Of course,” Hua Cheng replied. “A home has family. A place where someone lives alone is not a home.”
— Tian Guan Ci Fu (Vol 2), Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù

“I’m costing you too much. So much.”
“I accept that cost. We all do. Letting people into your life is never without a cost. You do it because, in the end, you’ve got people in your life. That’s what I’ve learned recently, at least.”
— The Hanged Man, K.D. Edwards

“I know you, I know a lot of things about you. I understand, and even if there are somethings in your past I don’t know about, I’m willing to listen, to share the burden with you. Don’t just keep everything to yourself, locked away behind those walls. Aren’t you tired? Isn’t it difficult?”
— Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (Vol 4), Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou

“You have your own dark room to bear. How could I bring you into mine?”
“It’s easier to live with a dark room if you have company.”
— The Dark Mirror, Samantha Shannon

“Isn’t all of this love? Even when I haven’t provided anything in return? Doesn’t this mean I’ve needed people, and they’ve let me need them, and they’re still, miraculously, here?”
— Hijab Butch Blues, Lamya H

“It’s an act of magnificent rebellion to do meaningless things, to waste time, to swim and drink soda and sleep late. To be silly and frivolous, to laugh at stupid little jokes and tell stupid little stories. Or to paint big paintings, the biggest you can manage, and to try to learn to whisper in color. To look for a way to show other people: this was me, these were my humans, these were our farts. These were our bodies, and they were small, far too small, because they couldn’t contain all our love. That’s all of life. All we can hope for. You mustn’t think about the fact that it might end, because then you live like a coward, you never love too much or sing too loudly. You have to take it for granted, the artist thinks, the whole thing: sunrises and slow Sunday mornings and water balloons and another person’s breath against your neck. That’s the only courageous thing a person can do.”
— My Friends, Fredrik Backman

“What was womanhood if not a lifelong desperation for things that were not and could never be guaranteed?”
— Girl Dinner, Olivie Blake

“It’s not about self-care—it’s about collective care. Collective care means shifting our organizations to be ones where people feel fine if they get sick, cry, have needs, start late because the bus broke down, move slower, ones where there’s food at meetings, people work from home—and these aren’t things we apologize for. It is the way we do the work, which centers disabled-femme-of-color ways of being in the world, where many of us have often worked from our sickbeds, our kid beds, or our too-crazy-to-go-out-today beds. Where we actually care for each other and don’t leave each other behind. Which is what we started with, right?”
— Care Work, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

“Being vulnerable, as well as honest, is the key to collective liberation. This is one thing I understand from the principles of disability justice. It is not something that happens overnight after buying a candle, listening to a podcast, or reading a memoir. It requires daily intentions, self-reflections, and support from the people who care about you. The thing about being vulnerable is that it also opens you up to pain, which requires additional emotional labor to process and respond to it.”
— Year of the Tiger, Alice Wong

“If you are honest, people may deceive you. Be honest anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfishness. Be kind anyway. All the good you do today will be forgotten by others tomorrow. Do good anyway.”
— Beartown, Fredrik Backman

“It is rare indeed that people give. Most people guard and keep; they suppose that it is they themselves and what they identify with themselves that they are guarding and keeping, whereas what they are actually guarding and keeping is their system of reality and what they assume themselves to be. One can give nothing whatever without giving oneself—that is to say, risking oneself. If one cannot risk oneself, then one is simply incapable of giving. And, after all, one can give freedom only by setting someone free.”
— The Fire Next Time, James Baldwin

“Every soul is its own universe. It must be treated as such. Each life is so big, so vast, so important.”
— The Lighthouse at the Edge of the World, J.R. Dawson

“You can’t even save yourself; how can you save others?”
“And what did Shizun say?” Shi Mei asked.
“If you don’t know how to save others, how can you save yourself?”
— Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (Vol 3), Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou

“Happiness wasn’t a permanent state of being that you could trick your brain into. A little razzle dazzle, like shining a mirror off the sun. You had to believe it. You had to work for it. You had to choose it. On any given day you had to choose to remember the good over the bad. To honor the gradations in your joy and accept its complications.”
— Gifted & Talented, Olivie Blake

“All this guilt and shame and remorse you carry, Kestrel. Don’t you see? That is what they burned you with. And you have added to it, all these years. The wall is of your own making. Take it down. Forgive yourself. Come out.”
— Assassin’s Quest, Robin Hobb

“From then on, Mo Xi understood that, although the death of an old friend was agonizing, it could not compare to the pain of an old friend irrevocably changed. When he thought how this person yet remained on this earth but could never return to the past; of how their deep emotion had decayed, how their shared path had split into two unlike roads, how his beloved had become his enemy—that was a suffering that brought agony with each breath.”
— Yuwu (Vol 3), Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou

“We cannot change those who embrace evil, nor can we see into the hearts of others to know their intent. But we can prevent cruelty and hatred from changing who we are.”
— Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (Vol 9), Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou

“What I really want to do is say that life is impossible, and the lie we tell ourselves is that it is too short. Life, if anything, is too long. We accumulate too much along the way. Too many heartbreaks, too many funerals, too many physical setbacks. It’s a miracle any of us survive at all.”
— They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us, Hanif Abdurraqib

“Life is an activity that’s got to be sustained. You have to fight for it. Otherwise it’s no life at all. That’s just it. It’s just an impulse.”
— Katabasis, R.F. Kuang

“Humanity is meant to scar us. Something ugly must befall us in order for us to say we’ve truly lived.”
— How to Live Free in a Dangerous World, Shayla Lawson

“The idea of sexual love was bound with death, with suicide, and with murder. Their love deepened despite these troubles.”
— How to Survive a Plague, David France

“Love gets in the way of death. Love is life. Every single thing I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is – everything exists – only because I love. Everything is bound up with love, and love alone. Love is God, and dying means me, a tiny particle of love, going back to its universal and eternal source.”
— War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy

“What happens in this life is not final. There is another. And maybe there, we will get another chance. Maybe there we will get it right. I will see you again someday. I believe that. If not in this life, then in the next, the angel will blow into the shell, the soul of every being that ever lived will rise, and our sins will be accounted for, and our good deeds too.”
— A Place For Us, Fatima Farheen Mirza

“If you really think there’s something after this, that still doesn’t excuse what you’re doing now.”
— Hell Followed With Us, Andrew Joseph White

“I’m no longer afraid of [God’s] neglect, so why should I be afraid of His condemnation?”
— Tian Guan Ci Fu (Vol 3), Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù

book playlists

Apparently I made more playlists than I thought I did this year! And they were lovingly received over on Spotify (sorry, I cannot bring myself to switch music platforms). I love making playlists for books, whether it’s a dedicated “This is what the movie would sound like” playlist or a general “These songs remind me of the characters” mix.

(My most popular playlist was my “taylor but make it hollanov” mix with almost 40 likes and honestly? That checks out.)

chronological soundtrack mixes

These mixes are intended to be listened in order, and they often have instrumental/score tracks sprinkled in to add ambiance. I think of this kind of playlist like a soundtrack to a movie adaptation where certain songs and tracks line up with specific scenes and moments. It’s usually in order chronologically, but some playlists are more specific and some are more general.

The Bone Season - a chronological series mix, songs from book one through The Dark Mirror

Hazelthorn - a semi-chronological vibes mix

Safe as Life - a chronological series mix (still under construction, tracks 1-71 are finalized) for The Raven Cycle

Hot Wax - a semi-chronological vibes mix

You Weren’t Meant to be Human - a semi-chronological vibes mix

Local Heavens - a semi-chronological vibes mix

The Sunshine Court - a semi-chronological vibes mix

vibey mixes

When I’m too lazy to do a fully fleshed out mix or I just have some songs that remind me of a book, I throw them together into a vibey playlist that is usually short and sweet without as many instrumental detours. These are sometimes ordered but usually good on shuffle too.

Babel Mouth - A vibes mix inspired by the fictional band Babel Mouth (with frontrunner Vince DeWitt) from Hot Wax

Girl Dinner - a millenial / #GirlBoss vibes mix inspired by the book

Happy Place - a semi-chronological vibes mix

My Friends - a vibes mix inspired by the book

Heated Rivalry - a semi-chronological vibes mix for Shane and Ilya from Heated Rivalry

ship mixes

Look sometimes a song reminds you of The Characters but they don’t belong on the Official Soundtrack so you have to get your brainrotting down on (metaphorical) paper into a ship mix.

ximang - songs that remind me of Mo Xi and Gu Mang from Yuwu

ranwan - songs that remind me of Mo Ran and Chu Wanning from Erha

hualian - songs that remind me of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng from TGCF

paigewarden - songs that remind me of Paige and Warden from The Bone Season

fitzloved - song that remind me of Fitz and the Fool from ROTE (only through Farseer)

ship mixes but it’s only taylor swift songs

When I read Captive Prince I put together a list of Taylor songs that remind me of Laurent and Damen for my friend Michelle, and then I kept reading brainrot books and kept making connections and now it’s become its own collection of Taylor mixes. Are they mostly the same songs reordered? Yes. But it’s necessary. They’re all a little different.

taylor but make it jerejean - Taylor Swift songs that remind me of Jeremy Knox + Jean Moreaux (All for the Game)

taylor but make it andreil - Taylor Swift songs that remind me of Andrew Minyard + Neil Josten (All for the Game)

taylor but make it pynch - Taylor Swift songs that remind me of Adam Parrish + Ronan Lynch (The Raven Cycle)

taylor but make it hollanov - Taylor Swift songs that remind me of Shane Hollander + Ilya Rozanov (Heated Rivalry)

what’s next?

What am I doing in 2026? Reading less. I hope. Or maybe not, I don’t know. I want to focus on reading physical books and revamping my poor attention span, and I’m keeping my number goal at a solid 12. We’ll see what lower expectations does to my year. Maybe I’ll actually work on learning a language like I’ve been dreaming about for the last twelve months. Who knows!

Here’s a brief 2026 TBR for my “slow” reading year:

XX by Rian Hughes
Notre-Dame de Paris by Victor Hugo
Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin
Legendborn by Tracy Deonn
All About Love by bell hooks
The Liveship Traders trilogy by Robin Hobb
The Obscene Bird of Night by José Donoso
A singular Shakespeare play (Pericles perhaps?)

2026 Releases

The Broken Cage by Nora Sakavic (TBD…I’m guessing Feb?)
You Did Nothing Wrong by C.G. Drews (Mar - but I have an ARC!!)
The Summer Boy by Philippe Besson (May)
Dead Beat by Leigh Bardugo (Sept)
Steppe by Oksana Vasyakina (Jan)
No God but Us by Bobuq Sayed (May)
Scorpion Deep by C.G. Drews (Oct)
The School of Night by Karl Ove Knausgård (Jan)
You’re No Better by Andrew Joseph White (Fall)
Erha Vol 11 by Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat (Mar)
Platform Decay by Martha Wells (May)
The Misfit Caravan by K.D. Edwards (Jul)
Love by the Book by Jessica George (Apr)
Puck by Samantha Allen (Jun)
American Spirits by Anna Dorn (Apr)
Heartstopper, Vol 6 by Alice Oseman (Jul)

Check out my 2024 reading debrief here!

If you’re interested in seeing a breakdown of my database, please let me know! I’m planning on building that into a video in the new year if I’m ever free from photo-editing hell. All I wanna do is brag about it.