if we were villains (epilogue)
part seven of an essay on m.l. rio's bestseller - THE END (finally)
epilogue
As we (finally) reach the end of our journey here, I need to close out with the most important part of the whole book: the end.
While the rest of the novel is relatively straight-forward (which is to say, knock-you-over-the-head obvious), the last scene of the book lends itself to ambiguity. It’s vague on purpose, and that leaves the reader with a kind of haunting.
However, I think most readers would agree that it’s not ambiguous at all. Depending on how you see the world, if you’re a glass half empty or half full kind of person, and depending on whether or not you actually believe this book is a tragedy or otherwise, you could argue that there is a clear-cut ending.
If we take everything at face value, yes, this is a tragedy. Oliver got out of prison and discovered the love of his life drowned himself like Ophelia in Hamlet, and he must live the rest of his life with that sorrow (and guilt?) and madness.
But that’s not how I see it. And I’d argue, you and a majority of other readers see it differently as well. I refuse to believe that this is a tried-and-true tragedy, if only because all signs point to something else. Maybe not quite a love story, maybe not quite a happy ending, but the potential for one. That somewhere out there in the distant future, life will carry on and joy will begin again and love is still waiting.
If you need a brief refresher, the last scene is below, but Oliver is mailed a letter by Fillipa that was written to him by James when he committed suicide (supposedly) back in 2004. The letter is merely a speech from Pericles. Oliver reads the speech, reads it again a few times, and then thinks with his noggin and decides to read up on James’ death. We are left with the haunting knowledge that James’ body was never found. The end.
“Alas, the seas hath cast me on the rocks,
Washed me from shore to shore, and left my breath
Nothing to think on but ensuing death.
…
What I have been I have forgot to know,
But what I am want teaches me to think on:
A man thronged up with cold. My veins are chill
And have no more of life than may suffice
To give my tongue that heat to ask your help—
Which, if you shall refuse, when I am dead,
For that I am a man, pray you see me buried.”
— Pericles, Act II, Scene I
Smarter people than I probably looked up the context of this speech on their first read, and if I’m being honest, there’s a chance I did do that and then forgot, but we’re here now and I’m ready to fully flesh it out.
Pericles is the story of a wandering prince who gets lost out at sea but eventually finds a happy ending down the line. He has a lover and eventually a daughter, but tragedy strikes and he gets separated from them. (Obviously I’m great at giving synopses.)
It’s a full-circle moment for our characters in this book because Oliver himself is reading lines from Pericles in I,I. The author sets the stage for her ending, even if we the audience are unaware of it at the beginning. More than that, this reference gives us two bits of information that might give us answers to what will happen after the players exit the stage.
First, we have to look into the play of Pericles as a whole. The ending, actually. Pericles doesn’t just get separated from his daughter Marina. He is told she’s dead. It isn’t until he stumbles upon her that he rediscovers that she lives. (You see it right?) After he is reunited with his daughter, the two of them end up reuniting with his lover (Marina’s mother) Thaisa, who did in fact die, but became a hunter of Diana. The similarities to James and his situation cannot be overlooked, it’s just too perfect. Whether you see James as Marina - perceived to be dead but still living a secret life in hiding - or as Thaisa - actually died but was brought back to life as a mythical being - he ends the story alive and well and reunited with his loved ones.
But we have to take it all a step further and look at the speech that James has highlighted for Oliver. He’s speaking as Pericles, the wandering prince (let’s all remember that James himself is called “prince” numerous times in this story), and at this point in the play, Pericles has washed up on shore of a mysterious island, near dead. He seeks the help of some fishermen so that he might live. As Oliver says, the implications are impossible to ignore, and he understands this as a cry for help from James.
I appreciate that in this moment, Oliver does acknowledge that he’s desperate to find a “message in the madness,” that he hopes beyond all rational thought that his beloved still lives. It’s a self-aware moment that suggests that this whole story is a fantastical tale, that even Oliver the playwright understands just how ridiculous it is that his lover left him a note implying that he faked his own death.
But sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
What drives all of this home however is Oliver’s recollection of their time on the beach in Del Norte, that James last spouted this speech during that night they shared together.
Earlier in the book James and Oliver reflect on this moment, when they passed out on the beach naked together (gay), and how it was such a joyous memory for both of them. We don’t get a lot of context other than a quick paragraph, but it’s obvious that both of them have been harboring that night like a secret for years. For James to not only have remembered that night, but to reference it so directly, is more than coincidence in my mind.
I think that’s what’s so compelling about this book and these characters specifically. You can read it without looking into too much, just take things at face-value if you want, but in truth, everything is intentional. There are no coincidences, everything means something deeper, much like the line where they talk about actors feeling their feelings twice. Maybe it’s all fate, maybe it’s something else, but nothing is done without a greater purpose. And James of all people is arguably the most intentional of all.
So while M.L. Rio led us to believe this is a tragedy, I do think she turned the tragedy on its head and gave us the hinting of a happy ending after all. Mainly because if we look at the last time that Oliver and James spoke, James made sure to explicitly mention Del Norte. It was on his mind then, so much so that he made sure Oliver knew that. It was a hint of things to come, but I think it was also a small declaration of James’s love for Oliver.
JAMES IS NOT DEAD, CONFIRMED. (By me.)
Nobody can convince me otherwise. This tragedy is not a tragedy after all. (Or maybe the tragedy is that we’ll never get to witness a reunion between them.) Perhaps Oliver’s choice made a difference in the end. Maybe in choosing James over his own personal freedom, Oliver managed to snag this whisper of a happier ending.
for real, the end
This one really got away from me, but I think I just needed to exorcise some demons, ya know? You guys didn’t sign up for this because I’m brief, you signed up for this because I’m unhinged.
The truth is, I just love this book. Desperately. I’ve loved it since I first read it, but during this reread when I had a chance to fully annotate and reflect on the text, I felt the kind of ecstasy that only happens when you’re reading something that’s apart of your soul. I appreciate art that doesn’t take short-cuts, that makes you puzzle things out, that has a deeper meaning underneath, and this book has all that and more. It may be a tragedy, but I think it’s one of the most romantic and beautiful books out there. The writing and craft is insane - the imagery especially was astounding on this reread - but I adore the characters and their commitment to each other. I didn’t realize how much I related to Oliver until I sat with his fatal flaw and knew that if I was him, I might have done the same exact thing.
But more than anything, this book reminds me (every single time) just how much I adore Shakespeare. It always brings me back to a younger version of myself, that little girl who had no idea what she was doing acting on the stage in a college theater. I see just how far I’ve come, and how far I still want to go, and I’m grateful for the time that’s passed in between. I’m still not as old as Oliver at the end of his sentence, and even that makes me think about just how long he had to sit in jail for his beloved.
I know I went overboard on this project, but I’m allowed to do what brings me joy, and I’d like to think some of you got something out of this. If you made it this far, I really truly do appreciate your diligence. Every word typed is a labor of love, and while I never expect anyone to pay attention to me, I appreciate the few people who do read my most unhinged thoughts. To quote that one girl, “You’re just as sane as I am,” and that means we’re friends.
Endless gratitude to M.L. Rio for her art and her work. 🖤
Please go pick up Graveyard Shift and follow her on Substack!
